de la cruz STUDIO

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Waking up, letters

Brodie,

Bro, I'm so tired of being alive. I'm not contemplating suicide or anything, I'm just tired of being alive. There are days when I wake up and say "fuck, I'm still here." Why am I still here? What's the fucking point? Seriously? 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not contemplating suicide. The thought of killing myself sounds painful and stupid, and there's also all the disappointment and grief from my family and friends, unpaid bills, and who's gonna watch my dog?  Not fair for them, not to mention how messy it is, lots of paper towels. 

Dude, I'm on step 8, going on 1 year, no relapse, feels good.  Shit, I'm good with all that, but I'm just done, it's like a movie that should've ended 30 minutes ago.  Anyway, I hope shit's going well. Maybe I'll go see you some time. 

-Lorenzo